What’cha Searchin’ For

I have A LOT of stuff to do this week so I probaby won’t be updating too frequently. To entertain you until next time, I’ve compiled a list of search phrases that people searched for to bring them to this site (from July until October)

– mini fridge-target
– chewing inner cheek (2 times)
– ruck futgers
– helmut whos gonna be a star
– dave chappelle as yoda
– orgy pictures ?!??!
– who s gonna be a star helmut
– weblog october 2004 dentist cavities – no cavities
– the whistles go woo woo video
– geremy (12 times!)
– caniballism (3 times!)
– dave chappelle vice city download (2 times)
– made2own (3 times)
– blood viles photos
– aol screen name stolen
– fruitcake lady
– more to life remix
– mka football pictures
– opening someone else s mail
– stacy orrico and jin
– clucku 911 sauce
– opening someone else s mail and law
– pitch black mountain dew purchasing power
– bailey wooten iridium
– opening someone else s mail
– she had huge muscles
– law opening someone else s mail
– carwash2 (3 times)
– geremology (7 times)
– leggo my eggo pic (2 times)
– amazing geremy
– bird vs car commercial
– cakalaky
– cantblamelag
– cheapest digital canon rebel
– cleaning shell-toe adidas
– dave chappelle gta parody
– elliot ness da band (2 times)
– elliot ness freestyle
– ikea1.jpg
– index carwash4.jpg
– jin featuring stacy orrico
– kraft nabisco headquarters
– mountain creek water park pics
– outthere boys
– dad shaving moustache pictures (2 times)
– dave chappelle gta parody (2 times)
– don geremy (2 times)
– great adventure commercial (2 times)
– my nike cortez (2 times)
– stomach rumbled (2 times)
– bunchies
– cluck-u 911 sick
– gmale
– hairball shrek download
– i shaved my moustache pictures
– kings supermarket parsippany
– my stereo is posessed
– qvc blooper download
– shu500
– sparknotes on welcome home jellybean
– smallest shower stalls
– jin
– stacy

The End of the Repairman Chronicles

Yesterday I made the decision to close my business as a computer service provider. Why’d I quit? I quit because I lost interest in computers and gained interest in the business aspect of life.

Now that I am no longer bound by the company’s unwritten contract of secrecy, I can freely talk about my top 5 experiences.

5- Filthy. I arrived at a very beautiful house, but the bedroom of the customer (an early 20’s male) did not reflect the beauty of the neighborhood. There were BAGS of weed all over the floor, trippy posters, and tons of 1/2 empty water bottles with literally hundreds of cigarette butts in each bottle. His room smelled like actual skunk “juice” and my nose went numb after 5 minutes.

4- WHYYY?????? This service call started with a simple task to replace one part in the computer then the amount of work increased exponentially, which meant that I needed to return to the house several times to perform additional tasks. As if this wasn’t bad enough, the customer was 6′8…and FEMALE. Everytime I went to her house to service the computer I heard something that made me go WOW!!!!! During the latest service call (2 days ago), I heard about one of her family members who’s 11 years old and she stabbed one of her classmates. Get me outta there!

3- HOW??? I had to do maintenance on a computer of an old woman, but it was tough because she had no idea where her computer was. I know what you’re thinking, “How doesn’t she know where her computer is??” Answer: SHE’S BLIND! A blind woman lived alone and knew her way around the house, but she had no idea where she put her computer. After I found the computer, I did what I had to do, then when I told her that I was done, she said “thank you” and handed me a $5 bill. I’m pretty sure that she meant to give me $1 though.

2- Unfortunate. The address on the work order stated that the house number was 56, but house number 56 was completely burned down. I called the customer to verify the address and he said that he lives 3 houses down. I walked 3 houses down and I rang the bell and the man who answered the door looked like he was very injured from a fire. After I spoke to him for a while, I asked him about the charred house and he told me the story of how he was trapped in the house while it burnt down. Very unfortunate.

1- Shocking. I went to an apartment (conveniently located across the street from a hospital) and the house was packed with stuff, but that didn’t bother me as much as what happened a few minutes after I arrived. I was making good progress on the computer when I heard something rattling behind the computer desk, then a rat the size of a rottweiler ran from behind the desk across the living room floor, and into the kitchen. I was disgusted, shocked, and scared all at the same time, but the owner of the apartment looked at me as if I was crazy for acting the way I did. At least the customer made an effort to calm me down by saying “don’t worry about him, he doesn’t bite.”

I have one more service call to finish up, then I’m free!