After putting off this appointment for about 2 months, I have finally decided to get my blood work done and I am very lucky that my vein is still intact…or is it?
I drove to the lab and sat in the waiting room for about 10 minutes, then I was finally called into the room. I sat in the room with a smile on my face (because I’m a happy person) as I waited for someone to come take my blood. All of a sudden, the lights dimmed, the room got cold, and thunder shook the earthas NURSE EVIL entered the room—-NURSE EVIL FROM MY LAST BLOOD ESCAPADE.
Nurse evil must’ve visited my site and read about herself because she gave an evil little “bwahahaha” under her breath as she reached into the drawer and got the longest, fattest, double barrel, needle outfitted with a 2 liter blood canister. I reached into my pocket to get my cameraphone to snap some last images of myself because I was positive that this nurse had every intent to suck out every last ounce of blood from my body, but I stupidly left my phone in the car.
The nurse jabbed the needle into my arm and pushed, and pushed, and pushed until I felt the tip of the needle touch my shoulder bone. All of a sudden, she pulled out the needle halfway, turned it 20 degrees clockwise and pushed, and pushed, and pushed. When I thought that the worst of the experience was over, Nurse Evil started to make 360 degree turns with the needle—poking in every direction. I looked to my arm and I saw my veins in knots inside of my arm.
When I asked the nurse what she was doing, her excuse was “I can’t find your vein.” Since I was too much in pain to speak anymore, I couldn’t tell her “LET GO OF THE NEEDLE! IT’LL HURT A LOT LESS IF I JUST CHOP OFF MY ARM,” which was actually what was on my mind.
A few minutes later, she finally found a vein that she liked and she juiced it for every ounce of blood in it. She put a cotton swab over the dime sized hole that she created in my arm, then she sent me on my way.
My second rendezvous with Nurse Evil came to an end.
Nurse Evil: 2
Geremy’s Veins: -2,000,000
P.S: Forgive me if I sound bitter—I’m still shaken up.