Team Update

Question: How’s your soccer team doing?
Answer: See below…

The GREAT Geremedia Team
While the red team celebrates their goal my team exhibits their complete disinterest in the game by giving each other piggy-back rides down the field and running in circles.

CEO’s Desktop Assistant

While in my “innovation and entrepreneurship” course in college I was given the assignment to create a new, useful item from an old, used Pringles can. I immediately channeled my inner McGuyver and sketched a seemingly impossible multifunction device. After months of development, “the students desktop sidekick” was born.

Student's Desktop Sidekick

This product was designed with the following functionality:
– Built-in webcam to video record teaching lectures
– LED light to light the desk space when the classroom lights are too dark
– Multifunction screen that displays the time, news headlines, stock quotes, weather forecasts, etc

This product brought me new levels of fame and resulted in me being videorecorded by a local company, invited to speak at the school’s academic symposium and, most importantly, created a following of nerds and computer-science majors who worshiped me as their “buddha”. But since graduating college the product hasn’t been useful to me, so I had to go back to the drawing board…

"Desktop Assistant" Product Line

The newest revision of the “desktop assistant” product line is called “The CEOs Desktop Assistant” and I’ve developed one beta version as a proof-of-concept.

– Forward facing hidden webcam for videoconferencing and security monitoring
– Integrated speaker for listening to streaming radio, music or tele/video conferences
– New, brighter, hidden LED desktop light
– Sturdy, genuine wood used as frame (as opposed to pringles-can cardboard)
– Glass used to protect LCD screen from scratches
– Tinted front glass and glossy, smoke-grey interior paint to give the illusion of an empty black box when not in use
– LCD screen displaying subjects of newest emails, weather, latest journal entries, stock quotes, current date and time, computer status, etc

"Desktop Assistant" Product Line

A feature that will be implemented very, very soon is an alarm system that works with motion detection. When the camera senses movement, it will snap a picture of the intruder, email it to my email address, sound an alarm with the built-in speakers, and flash the words INTRUDER ALERT on the LCD screen…all from the inconspicuous black box on the desk.

Final version should be released soon.
"Desktop Assistant" Product Line

*POOF* old camera BE GONE

Canon Powershot SD550

Since 2005 I’ve had this handy-dandy Canon Powershot SD550 camera to use as my main camera of choice. Eventually the camera developed a unique malfunction where a puff of smoke would emit from the camera’s flash bulb every time a picture was taken. In the interest of protecting my life from freak-camera-flash-bulb fire accidents and doing my part to cut down air pollution I went out and purchased a brand new, amazing Digital-SLR camera.

Canon Rebel XSI Canon Rebel XSI

In the process of buying this camera I met my third goal– to purchase a digital SLR camera before December 2009. The only remaining goal on the list is to buy a zebra before I turn 100 years old.

…good thing I have a quality camera to take pictures of “Hemnes” when he gets here.

Geremedia Business Cards

I’m a unique fellow and everything that represents me must be unique also. This was the mindset that I had when creating my latest set of business cards.

Geremedia Business Cards

With the new Geremedia business cards I used a few more unique elements than before:

  • Color, glossy finish on both sides
  • Rounded corners
  • Black background with a color foreground
  • Vertical front/ horizontal back
  • Purple color strip on back

Geremedia Business Cards Geremedia Business Cards

Fortunately, now when people ask me for Geremedia contact information I will no longer be forced to write my email address on their arms with permanent marker. Now with the new SUPER-SHINY business cards in my possession, I can simply duct tape it to their arms instead.

*last name redacted from card image for no particular reason

Void No More

After buying two iPhones and selling them at a significant profit, I felt a void in my life–a void created by Apple. For months I searched and searched for ways to fill this void but I remained unsuccessful. But everything changed this week.

I was at a two day on-site client meeting on Tuesday when Steve Jobs made an announcement that Apple is releasing an iPod made somewhat specifically for me.

The great news didn’t come to me until the next day when I was on my way home and upon hearing it, I reacted immediately. I searched for the Apple store closest to me and, like a crackfiend searching for his next rock, I hurried into the store frantically looking for my new gadget. “Sorry sir, we didn’t receive our shipment yet.”


The next day during lunch I went to the Apple store and, finally, I became the proud new owner of an iPod touch.

When I started this site I set four unrelated goals to achieve:

1) Buy a house- done!
2) Buy an iPhone (or iPod touch)- done!
3) Buy a digital SLR camera
4) Buy a zebra

….I’m gonna name my zebra “Hemnes Clarendoin”

Profit Opportunity: Esquire E-Ink Magazine

Esquire Magazine - E-Ink

After reading about Esquire magazine’s special, limited release “E-Ink” magazine, I had to immediately purchase a copy for my collection. Is this because I’m a feeble minded consumer? Not in the least! This is because I’m a business-minded individual. Literally one minute after buying this magazine for $6, they were being sold on eBay for $12–a 100% price markup in 60 seconds (profit of 1 dime/second)

My Prediction:
1) Someone is going to figure out a way to hack the screen in the magazine for alternative uses
2) Demand for these magazines will quadruple
3) Demand will exceed supply and collectors and “hackers” will turn to places like eBay and Craigslist to purchase the magazine at a premium
4) I will be faced with the option of selling my magazine for an extremely high gross profit, or simply keep the flashy, distracting magazine on my bookshelf

…profit (or lose $6)

Esquire Magazine - E-Ink

My Undefeated Team!

My soccer team has received their super-snazzy jerseys and will play their first game on Saturday. The best part is that the “GEREMEDIA TIGERZZ” is guaranteed to be undefeated because it’s a rule that every team must always win every time. This is great!!

Geremedia Soccer Team Geremedia Soccer Team