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If Heaven Has a Gym, I found it!

On Wednesday I joined an athletic club that cost the equivalent of a 2001 Honda Prelude each month in membership fees.  Why would I invest such a great amount of time and money into a gym that I’ll only visit twice a week? This is yet to be determined…

The “athletic club” that I joined is the size of Malaysia and has enough accoutrements to satisfy a king .  It has a water park, saunas, a cafe, millions of exercise equipment machines, a rock climbing wall, a salon, a few indoor basketball courts, a raquetball court, etc, etc, etc.   Basically, I didn’t sign up for a gym…I signed up for heaven.  
After going to the gym a few times to get back into shape, I’m wondering if the trillions of dollars that I’ll spend in membership fees are worth it.  What good is it to have the chseled body of a roman God when you have the bank account of a vagrant?

My Secret Weapon

My Mobile Office

Every superhero has a secret tool–superman has his phonebooth, The President has Air Force One, Fonzie has the jukebox, but this superhero (me) has nothing. A month ago I realized that if I wanted to be effective in this world, I needed a secret weapon.

In December I was flying through the air in a flying chair (on an airplane) when I started to give some thought about my options for tools. I narrowed it down to: Ninja Stars, a helicopter, a wheeled “business case,” or a sniper rifle.

After much deliberation, I selected the wheeled business case, with a twist. I wanted to have the ability to conduct business in any remote place in the planet. I wanted a case that would be a lot like the presidential limo–indestructable, secure, and an office on wheels. I summonsed my inner inventor/engineer skillz and I went to work on the mobile office that would go on to change my life.

My mobile office is outfitted with the following items in a nice, clean, sleek shell:

  • Macbook Pro laptop w/ Adapters
  • Blank CD’s and DVD’s
  • Headphones
  • Cell phone pouch (cell phone to double as wireless modem)
  • iPod, Phone, and Digital camera chargers
  • 2gb Flash Drive
  • Gum, Halls and other refreshing breath enhancing aids
  • Electric Pen, Notebook and Charger
  • Pens, Pencils, Highlighters, Erasers, Scissors, Stapler
  • The book “Snowball” by Warren Buffett
  • An “essentials kit” filled with food, shelter and love

With these tools I’m unstoppable and am able to win any fight against supervillains worldwide!