Welcome to Your New Home: The Jet

Private Jet Exterior

As I so boldly declared to the world a few months ago, I am going to own an Embraer Phenom 100 Jet by 2015. In preparation for this, I knew that it was important for me to surround myself with other jet owners so I can adopt a similar mindset in the area of aircraft ownership. Also, I felt that it was important to learn every aspect of jet ownership so I can develop a good business model behind it. So when I heard about a national aviation trade show taking place, I knew that I had to attend regardless of the cost.

Jet Interior

I booked two reservations: one for me and one for my pilot friend, who came along as my advisor. As we went from jet to jet it was easier for me to picture myself owning one. The first thing I did as I entered each aircraft was to choose a seat as my future base station and then adjust that seat until it was perfectly comfortable for me. Then I pulled out the table for the seat and imagined my 17″ Macbook Pro sitting there. Then I went to the bathroom of the plane and, yes folks, I sat on the lavatory to get a sense of what it would be like to make strategic decisions while sitting there. If I liked the feeling of the jet, then I’d take note of its name as I moved onto the next one. I did this several times before reaching MY jet.

MY Jet Interior

I saw the Embraer Phenom 100 Jet sitting on the tarmac and it immediately said to me “you found me–welcome home!” It felt oh-so-right in there and I began to mentally make styling decisions of how I’m going to differentiate my plane with the G-Head logo plastered across everything and anything. I spent a considerable amount of time in my plane, but I didn’t feel like I became fully acquainted with it. Later in the day, I reached out to a contact and scheduled a one-on-one meeting so I could have full and exclusive rights to sit around and acclimate myself to the plane…..to MY plane.

This event worked wonders for me and now I know that I’ve got to start saving up for this jet. In preparation for the first flight in August of 2015, I am taking meeting requests around the US for the latter half of the year 2015! Expect to see me zooming through the sky very soon!

A Scooter with an IQ of 160

The Segway Gang

While you were spending your Memorial day remembering our Veterans and Fallen Heroes, I was out causing trouble as a member of THE SEGWAY GANG! That is the name that I gave to the members of the Segway Tour that I participated in around Washington, DC. We cruised around the city on our Segways, looking like nonthreatening mall cops, living life on the edge with our super-safe (and horribly nerdy) bicycle helmets.

According to the most credible site on earth (Wikipedia), a Segway is a “self balancing electric vehicle used for personal transport,” but according to the most credible opinion in the galaxy (mine), a Segway is a cool yet incredibly nerdy machine that balances and propels itself using the power of thought [or magic].

The Segway Brain

It took me about 5 minutes to figure out how to properly use the machine because I believed that I was smarter than it was. The instructions were simple: lean forward to go forward, lean backwards to slow down, lean right/left to go right/left and stand still to stay still. Mostly everyone else in my group caught on quickly, but I had a bit of trouble because I was a bit too power-hungry. I kept getting into weird bouts of “man vs machine” fights with the Segway when its smart computer chip brain kept overriding my decisions and making decisions on its own. After some fights and discipline we began to play well together and we cruised around at a riveting max speed of 12.5 mph.

My Cousin's House

Our journey went mostly well as we cruised through the town. Our first stop was at my cousin Barack Obama’s house, but he wasn’t home and forgot to inform me. Then we continued through DC visiting other important places, like the Air and Space Museum and the US Capitol building. At one point, a member of the gang collided with a traffic cone, which freaked the Segway out and caused it spin in circles, eject her and thrust itself into oncoming traffic, but no one was hurt—not including the Segway, who likely suffered a little “brain” damage.

The Capitol Building

I would recommend that you sign up for a tour if you want to experience a Segway in the future, but go far away from your hometown because if anyone you know recognizes you on a Segway, your “street cred” will be dissolved forever.