A Peculiar guy named Geremy

CategoryDaily Life

When I’m Bored, I Start a Business

W

1994 – Little Rascals Corporation 1995 – LRC, Inc (Little Rascals Corporation went through a company restructuring) 1996 – Geremy’s Baseball Card Club 1997 – Gimme Lunch, Giv-you Dollar 2000 – Geremy (I branded myself!) 2003 – FX Comp – Computer Solutions 2007 – Geremedia, LLC

These are all companies that I’ve started throughout my life, mostly because I was bored and saw an opportunity to earn a profit. I guess that somehow it became ingrained in my mind that I needed to always own a business and have multiple streams of revenue coming in. As a result, I sometimes start businesses when I’m bored.

Emerge Management Co.

2008.5 This was the case on Tuesday, when I started a company.  This company was created to have a separate entity managing my house (that I don’t even own yet) and any future pieces of real estate that I buy. I gave myself a one-week deadline to fully register for a business, including tax ID number, bank account, and logo and I got it completed in 5 days. Three pats on the back for Geremy!

I hope that this unique hobby doesn’t turn into an addiction one day because I’m guessing that there are no 12-step classes for “Perpetual Business Starters” and I’d have to suffer alone for the rest of my life.

I guess I’m impatient

I

Last weekend I picked up my cousin and we went to the house that I’m buying to clean up the place. There were people passing by who asked “are you the new owner of that house” to which I quickly replied “nope!” When they questioned why I was cleaning up a house that I didn’t own, I said “I guess I’m a nice person.” I am, really!

I guess I’m impatient because I had the carpet guys, electricians, plumbers, and contractors do a walkthrough of the house, giving me estimates and ordering material before I signed any home ownership papers. The lawyer informed me that *technically* I can be sued for doing what I did, but I’m Geremy….whatever that means! I’m not worried.

I guess I’m impatient because my insurance agents outright told me so. There was one day when I called them fifteen times to make sure I got flood insurance within 24 hours. After they told me that I should probably stop calling them, I found their email address address and began emailing them nonstop. I don’t call it neurotic, I prefer persistent and inquisitive.

Ok, so I’m impatient, but that’s good right?! Of course it is because my momma loves me for it!

Unemployed Billionaires Wanted

U

I am in the process of buying a house and I’ve learned two things so far: To buy a house you must be unemployed and you must have infinity dollars in the bank. You need to be unemployed because there are so many telephone calls, applications, signatures, emails, etc required that you will not have time to go to work everyday. Additionally, you need to have infinity dollars because everything in the house buying process requires you to pay hundreds of dollars. Soon and very soon I’ll be a homeowner…

Boiling temperatures, Hole-y tires

B

Did you notice that I haven’t made a single post all weekend?? Oh, that’s because I was too busy walking a mile with a 26″ Schwinn Mountain bike with hydroformed tubes on my back…oh yeah, and it had a flat back tire. Let me tell you all about it…

Saturday
Somehow in the midst of the 96 degree weather on Saturday the heat began to make me so delusional to the point that I thought that it would be a good idea to take a 13 mile bike ride across three cities for fun. If you disregard the fact that I was chased by a 200lb cougar-esque dog the size of “Big Brown,” the ride was fun and it kinda made me feel like Marco Polo, the explorer.

Sunday
Key facts:
Temperature: 97 degrees fahrenheit
My mood: Groggy but determined
Bike condition: Not sure, because I didn’t check
Safety equipment: None, because I left them all home in favor of a lighter bike weight
Communication Equipment: None, because I didn’t want to lose my cell phone

Since Saturday’s ride went so well, I attempted to relive the experience on Sunday; however I got a flat tire 1.5 miles into the journey. When I tried to ride the broken bike back home, the flat tire slipped off of the rim and prevented the wheel from spinning. I picked the bike up, threw it on my shoulder and walked half a mile to my job’s building in hopes of finding a co-worker who could give me a ride home, but it was 96 degrees outside on a Sunday afternoon–who in their right mind would leave their cool, air-conditioned home to wander about aimlessly in search of cheap thrills and adventures??? Oh wait… me.

I chained the bike to the mailbox and I began my 2 mile journey home. At first I began to jog, but then the 100+ degree sidewalk began to create heat via friction inside my pumas and made my feet feel like I was infected with tinea pedis disease. Instead, I began walking. As the sun increased its intensity and seemingly focused its heat rays on my back, I began to feel like the ants that I used to toast with a magnifying glass during my boring summer days as a child. The sweat that was forming on my head began to run into my eyes, my shirt was drenched, and my legs started to hurt. My plan was to spend the duration of the 2 mile trek to safety thinking about positive aspects of my experience, but the only positive thing that I could come up with was that my spit didn’t start to boil in my mouth yet.

When I got home my mom looked at me with a puzzled look on my face and asked “where’s the bike?” As I tried to recover from the intense walk and was re-learning how to utilize my charred voice box, I conjured up all of my strength to mutter: “tire…hole…chain….walk,” then I took my dad’s truck to retrieve the broken bike.

From now on when I get the crazy idea to take a 13 mile bike ride in the blistering hot weather without any safety or communication equipment, I’ll just set myself on fire instead…it’ll take less time and should hurt less.

Vitalicious!

V

Vital8 Gummy Multivitamin

“Take your vitamins…here!”
“Don’t toy with me, girl… this is a gummy snack”
“Take it!”

My sister bought me a bottle of specialty multivitamins named “Vital 8,” which come in the form of gummy candies. There are little infinity symbols peppered across the bottle, the cap, and even the vita-gummies themselves are shaped like infinities. I interpret all of the infinity symbols as “you’re going to live forever if you eat these things!” The bottle is bright, nickelodeon-slime colored green, which makes me feel revitalized, and the bottle suggests that you take one vitamin a day. I hate vitamins, but love gummy snacks, so I’m eating these things like they’re snacks. If one vitamin makes me live forever, shouldn’t eight of them make me live for eight lifetimes?!? We’ll see.

Vital8 Gummy Multivitamin Vital8 Gummy Multivitamin

Tweet Tweet..

T

Someone’s playing a cruel joke on me–or at least that’s the only way to explain this strange phenomenon that’s been occurring. Every morning from Monday to Wednesday I’ve seen a bird fetus on my front step. I’ve checked the area for nests and I haven’t seen any within a 20 ft radius of the house, also I haven’t seen any birds walking around in the front of the house. Maybe that’s because they’re all dead? I have no idea!!

Day 1: My mom discovered the dead bird and threw it in the garbage.
Day 2: My dad discovered the dead bird and removed it from the front step
Day 3: I saw the dead bird and took an abundance of pictures…then I got rid of it.

I don’t know…

(if you’re curious to see a picture of the bird fetus, click here…but click at your own risk. I’m warning you… it’s disgusting)

A Peculiar guy named Geremy