A Peculiar guy named Geremy

CategoryDaily Life

The Breakup and The Upgrade

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When it came to haircuts, I was satisfied with my biweekly Saturday routine that I’ve faithfully adhered to since 2003. It was simple: drive for 33 minutes to the barbershop, wait a maximum of 10 minutes to get into the chair, get a haircut in 20 minutes, give a 50-70% tip*, and leave. But a few months ago, my [now ex] barber seemed to forget the routine that we’ve had for the last decade.

I drove for 33 minutes like I usually did and walked into the shop like I usually did, but this time I waited like I never did. After thirty minutes passed and I was still waiting, I thought that this might be a test of patience and I accepted the challenge! Then 90 minutes passed and I was still waiting in the same seat for my turn. Just as I decided to break my routine and return to the shop at a more convenient time, the barber told me, “don’t worry, you’re next!” Apparently I wasn’t next because two additional people got haircuts while I waited: a toddler who cried the entire time and a baldheaded man (true story…he had no hair at all, but yet he still got a “haircut”).

By now, it was two and a half hours after I’d arrived and my hair was approximately an inch and a half longer, due to all of the waiting. When I believed that I was the next person in the queue, a guy walked into the door and said “hey, can you give me cut really quickly” and he magically ended up in the chair next. That’s when I left and decided that it was time for a new barbershop.

While I walked to my car, I did a quick Yelp search for highly-rated barbershops within 15 minutes of my house and within 1 hour I’d identified a new shop, drove there, selected a new barber and finished my haircut. Not only is this barbershop much closer to my house, but the shop is nicer, the barber’s attention to detail is impeccable, my overall haircut cost is cheaper, and I’m significantly more satisfied with the outcome of my hair. It simply took one difficult experience to get me to realize that I’ve been settling for ordinary for 10 years when extraordinary was available to me in a much more convenient package!

Now I am happily acclimated to my new barbershop and I am grateful for the one difficult situation that pushed me out of my comfort zone and caused me to look for alternatives. If it had not been for the one aggravating experience, I would have never thought to seek improvements that were available to me the entire time!

*the amount of my tip was inversely proportionate to the amount of time I waited to get a haircut

Daily Highlights

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Happy 2013! I am one month into the year and everything has been going wonderfully! My outlook on my year has been great because I made the choice to place my focus on positive experiences that happen each day, rather than the negative ones that tend to have more of an impact. A new practice that I’ve adopted this year is to spend a few minutes each night reviewing each day. After reviewing the day, I place a note on my calendar containing all of the positive things that happened, which range from “got a free sandwich at Starbucks” to “placed an order for a new car.” This has been helpful because when I’m having difficult moments, I can flip through my calendar and and remind remind myself that every day of my year has been amazing and life is good!

Every day has at least one highlight and with the right perspective, anyone can identify it. This reminds me of a story about a cat and a dog that lived in the same house with very different outlooks on life

          Excerpts from the Dog’s Diary…

          8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
          9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
          9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
          10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
          12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!
          1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
          3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
          5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
          7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
          8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
          11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

          Excerpts from the Cat’s Diary…

          Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

          They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

          The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

          Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Ugh!

          There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage..

          Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow—but at the top of the stairs.

          I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

          The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

Thanks to my positive outlook (much like the dog’s), I’ve seen my attitude, outlook and demeanor change for the better, which has contributed to a better overall quality of life! I strongly encourage others to try the same practice and take note of the results!

2012 Year in Review

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As I prepare to move into 2013, I wanted to take a final look back on my personal highlights of 2012. I’ve edited these moments into one “Facebook Timeline” style video, which is viewable below.

The Tesla Model S Makes me SICK

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…literally!

Tesla Model S

Two months ago I was blessed with the opportunity to test drive a Tesla Model S—the world’s first mass-produced, fully electric supercar. Shortly after entering this phenomenal car and getting a brief walk through of the futuristic features, I put the vehicle in gear and silently drove onto the highway. Immediately, I had three stunning realizations: 1) This car is fast   2) This car is FAST 3) THIS CAR IS FAST!!

When I floored the accelerator, the car leaped from 0 to 60 miles an hour quicker than I could blink (under 3.9 seconds). Before I knew it, I was traveling at 80mph and the built-in speed limiter on the test drive vehicle ushered me to slow down. This was a euphoric experience so I repeatedly sped-up and slowed down until the 20 minute test drive was over.

Tesla Model S

My mind was blown and I’d fallen in love with a woman named “Tesla Model S”…who manifested herself in the form of a car…a beautiful car with thousands of lithium-ion batteries sitting between her wheels. But then the after-effects of the test drive started to rear its ugly head and this newfound Tesla enthusiast wound up in the doctor’s office.

Whenever I stood, the entire world spun and I could barely stay balanced, so an emergency trip to the doctor was necessary for me to make it through life. A few quick tests led my doctor to diagnose me with “Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo,” which happens when the crystals in your inner ear rapidly shift and breaks free into the inner ear. In other words, the rapid acceleration of the Tesla caused my ear crystals to send confusing messages about my body’s position to my brain. The doctor then instructed me to do “the Epley maneuver” until the dizziness went away.

Even though the Tesla Model S makes me sick, I’m willing to be dizzy every day of my life if it means that I can drive it everyday! So if you see me looking drunk coming out of a Tesla Model S, it’s not because of a flask filled with something strong…it’s because the car makes me SICK!

Geremy’s Peculiar Week on the Way

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Next Episode of Geremy's Peculiar Week

The next episode of “Geremy’s Peculiar Week” has been finished for about three weeks now, but it has not been released due to the fact that I am an obsessive perfectionist when I create things. As I was doing the final renders, I decided that I disliked all of the audio tracks that I selected for the video and I needed to re-edit the episode in its entirety. If my obsessiveness doesn’t create any more roadblocks, this episode should be released by the end of the week.

A couple of things that you will find in the next episode: zip lining, and birthday cake, and Disney World, and the Hudson River, and glass blowing, and A CAMEL. The video will be about 3 minutes long, will include some highlights from my month and was shot almost exclusively with my iPhone.

Now back to editing…

Geremy Jr, You’re Fired! Team of Assistants, You’re HIRED!

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In October of 2010, my life became a lot more productive when I hired a new personal assistant who handled all of the mundane, tedious tasks that I didn’t want to think about. He increasingly became a key part of my life since he allowed me to be productive while I attended to more important things. Unfortunately, after twenty months of working together, his effectiveness decreased and so did my tolerance for less-than-stellar results paired with slow turnaround times, so I gave him the proverbial “boot” and fired him.

Thirty minutes of life without a personal assistant passed and I couldn’t bear to expend any more brainpower on the dull administrative tasks that I’d delegated in the past, so I began a search for a replacement assistant. After one hour of copious research on a few replacements,I finally arrived at a wonderful new team of assistants who have been making my life much more productive and peachy than it ever was before.

During my first week as a customer with my new assistants, my tasks have included the following:

  • Find out the cost of the sewer taxes for my property and the details to submit payment
  • Research the cheapest, best quality helium tank online, purchase it, and have it shipped to my house
  • Find a few options for a transparent case for my new Macbook Pro w/ Retina Display
  • Schedule my next dentist appointment and place all relevant details on my calendar
  • Review and proofread an editorial that I will post online
  • Find the next Snarky Puppy concert near my house, place the details on my calendar and invite my cousin to the calendar entry
  • Find a place with great reviews that can produce 2″ x 2.5″ rubber stamps for me and let me know the cost
  • Call Mercedes Benz to find out the cost and part number for my driver’s door rear speaker grill
  • Purchase brake sensors for my Lexus LS460L that cost less than $130 each

Each task was completed within 30 minutes, with the majority of tasks being completed in 10 minutes or less. This was significantly better than my prior assistant who would sometimes take 3 to 4 days to get mentally prepared to think about thinking about starting each task.

One completed task that made me happier than our guinea pig eating a piece of watermelon was the last task on the list. I’d requested that Fancy Hands locate front and rear brake sensors for my car to get rid of the elusive “BRAKE PAD WEAR” message on the dashboard, which remained after I completed my brake job earlier this month. I requested that the dealership not replace the sensors after they informed me that these sensors cost $300 each to replace. When I did my own search, the cheapest price that I could find online was $200 for the set. My new team of assistants responded to my email within 20 minutes with three locations where I could purchase the sensors for between $110 and $130 for the pair. Then they took things a step further and called my local auto supply stores and located a place that sold the sensors for $11.99 each. ELEVEN NINETY-NINE in US currency! Then they took the liberty of reserving the part at the store for me to pick up the following day and then placed a reminder on my calendar for me to drive to the store and make the purchase. It took me 30 seconds to send the email and as a result, they saved me over $500!

There were numerous additional stellar experiences that I’ve had since signing up and I am happy that I took the plunge to get rid of “Geremy Jr” and start a new relationship with a team of assistants whose happiness is dependent on my productivity and satisfaction!

TWENTY-SEVEN!

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Weird Weekly

On Friday I completed yet another exciting year of my life and now I’m 27 years old! The most exciting part of being 27 is the fact that I am no longer considered a “youthful driver” by my car insurance company, which means that I can finally get a reduction on my $35,000/year car insurance premium. In addition to celebrating my car insurance savings, I am also celebrating the great experiences that I had at the age of 26. Some of my most memorable moments include:

– Going on two international trips to Trinidad.
– Being invited as a guest speaker in Trinidad & Tobago for a group of 150+ people
– Being invited to speak to a group of ambitious high school students at the “Leaders of Tomorrow” program in Boston
– Designing and launching many new Peculiar PPL line extensions, including 11 new t-shirts, two notebooks and three dress shirts
– Having my first official photo shoot for Peculiar PPL
Designing my own, custom-made, Peculiar shoe
Starting GeremyFarrell.com
Starting “Geremy’s Peculiar Week,” my own little reality show of sorts
– Sending my sister on a much deserved vacation
Purchasing a Mercedes convertible
– Going on many fun outings, including weekend trips to other states
Changing my car brakes for the first time without injuring myself or others in the process
– Fostering great friendships with new and existing friends.

As I get older, I’m working harder so that I can succeed on purpose! I’m excited for the things that will be accomplished at age 27 and I plan on sharing the moments with the Geremology.com viewers as these things unfold! Perhaps I might even get the zebra that I’ve always wanted at the age of 27! Fingers crossed!!

Thanks to YouTube, I’m an Expert at Everything

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Brake Lining Wear!!!

I attempted one of the most dangerous stunts of my adult life and I lived to tell about it! Many people tried to get me to avoid this “stunt” because it was too dangerous, but I’m a daredevil, risk-taker at heart. My stunt of choice on this warm Spring afternoon was changing the front brakes of my car and I was up for the challenge!

Changing the brakes of a car was never on my life’s to-do list so I never bothered to learn how to do it, but when I saw the dreaded “BRAKE LINING WEAR” message on the car’s display, I had a decision to make. My first option was to take my car to the Mercedes dealership, which would have cost me three arms, two legs, the ovary of an Ethiopian waterfowl, and five hundred shekels. My second option was to channel my inner mechanic and change the brakes for myself. Since I only had two arms and couldn’t find any indigenous waterfowl, I ordered the parts, tools and sensors for the repair and I contacted the best car repair instructor that I could find—YouTube.

YouTube (or “Professor YouTube”) had videos of people who were in the same predicament me attempting to do the same repair. After about fifteen minutes of viewing the videos, I jacked up my car and went to work. I listened to the video’s vague instructions and attempted to follow-along on my complicated, German-born Automobil. The video said, “ok, jiggle the thingamabobber and rattle the doodad to get the widget to retract from the whatyamacallit. When you’re done, you should see the piston resting against the doohickey.”

Uhh, what?!

Somehow, I was able to remove the worn brake components and install new, high-performance brake pads in its place. When both front brake pads were installed, I put the wheels back on, lowered the car to the ground, and initiated the most death defying (crazy in hindsight) stunt that I’ve ever tried. I drove to a deserted road in my town and sped down the road at about 50 mph, then I slammed brakes and hoped for the best. At that moment, it didn’t occur to me that if the brakes didn’t work, I would be taken for the most exhilarating ride of my life, but luckily, the car stopped very quickly. Then I accelerated to 70mph and slammed brakes again. Again, the car stopped very rapidly. I repeated the test several times and when I was finally convinced that the brakes were perfect, I went back home realizing that I just saved myself five hundred shekels!

After this wildly successful stunt, I am convinced that I can do anything when I mix Professor YouTube with God and my daredevil attitude. Now I’m ready to undertake my next stunt— does anyone need me to diffuse a bomb or perform open heart surgery?? As long as there’s a YouTube video for it, I’m an expert!

GeremyFarrell.com

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My name is GEREMY

Six months ago, I purchased the domain name GeremyFarrell.com to protect myself from impostors, in the event that I rapidly rise to fame and people want to exploit my online identity**. After the domain sat dormant for six months, I decided that I should use the vacant online space to display arbitrary facts and details about myself.

At first, the webpage was very basic with a few bullet points containing useless facts and figures (like the length of my left pinky toe), but then I started to get ideas on how to improve the basic concept. After some late-night iterations and revisions, I now have an improved one-page personal website that contains quotes that I live by, my educational background, an interactive graph using “interest units” as a form of measurement and a timeline of my various business pursuits since I was nine years old.

Although this website is not intended to serve any purpose other than to occupy a domain name, I enjoyed working on it and I will periodically update it as time progresses!

Visit GeremyFarrell.com to see the outcome of my late-night OCD.

** I realize that the likelihood of this is ~ 0.000000000001%, but better safe than sorry!

The Hair / Comfort Zone Experiment

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I am in the midst of one of the most challenging, yet interesting, tasks that I’ve undertaken in my life. The best part is that this “challenge” is something that millions…no, BILLIONS of people achieve every day without any problem. My challenge is to try not to cut my hair. Yes, you read that correctly. My challenge is to see how long I could go without getting a haircut and it’s incredibly, incredibly tough for me.

My goal is to be completely comfortable with being uncomfortable. I believe that if I venture so far out of my comfort zone that I am comfortable with discomfort, then I will be more resilient to change.

The one thing in my life that I’ve religiously done every two weeks since 1999 is get a haircut. As a result, my hair has never grown to be longer than a stubble and I have never worried about anything related to my hair. But now this is no longer the case.

My last haircut was 30 days ago and now I’ve grown 30 days worth of hair on my head. In addition to that, I’ve had to raid my sister’s hair product collection to find a hair serum engineered to tame this mane of hair that has taken residence on my head. I have to budget extra time each day to actually brush my hair so that my hair doesn’t seem like I just rolled out of bed. It’s a challenge, but I’m fine with it because it’s all for a good purpose.

In contrast, a year ago I went two weeks and 3 days without getting a haircut and I felt like someone flipped my world upside down. I questioned my views on reality, experienced blurred vision and found it hard to walk straight. Worst of all, my head started to hurt, which was my scalp’s way of rejecting the weight all of the extra hair that it was not used to managing. Today my little experiment must be working well because I’m mostly comfortable with my mini ‘fro and it’s been a LONG four weeks!

Now I’m considering growing my hair, mustache and beard like Quest Love so that I could push my family and friends out of their comfort zones. Maybe I might also start speaking with an Australian accent to make things completely uncomfortable and awkward—that’s sure to do the trick!

A Peculiar guy named Geremy