A Peculiar guy named Geremy

CategoryEscapades

The Boston Fellow

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I met a young man in Boston who was 2 years old but had the mental capability of someone twice his age. Introducing my greatest friend’s (Erika’s) godson. When I pulled out my camera to take a picture of him, he stuck his arm out and said “iwaa-takea-pikta,” which Erika quickly translated into “he said that he wants to take a picture.”

I liked his pro-activeness!

Before handing him the camera, I insisted on taking my pictures of him. First he showed me his happy face….

Avaughn

…then he showed me his “angry face” (which was the exact same expression as the happy face, except he squeezed his hands closed really tightly to properly communicate the angriness)

Cutest Kid Ever

Then I handed him the camera to take his own pictures, which came out a lot better than the ones I took…

Avaughn's Picture 1 Avaughn's Picture 2

Brilliant!!

4/12/08 – Boston, MA – COMPLETED

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On Saturday morning at 6:30 am, I left the house with my GPS, two cell phones and an umbrella on hand and I drove north. I was driving to Boston, Massachusetts and had a ton of motivation to keep me entertained throughout the four hour drive.

I had an aggressive itinerary in place, which included:

  • visiting the Smart Car dealership to place an order for the smart car that I wanted so badly
  • visiting The Johnny Cupcakes Store, a wonderful example of a self-made, self-driven multi-millionaire who achieved success through his own uniqueness
  • visiting Bodega–undoubtedly the best and most exclusive sneaker store on the East Coast, known only to sneakerheads like myself
  • and, most importantly, dropping in for a surprise birthday visit to my friend Erika six days before her birthday. I’m random like that.

Overall, I would consider the trip to be a huge success and a great kickoff to my Great Exploration plan. Over the next few days I will be covering the lessons-learned, things discovered, and random points of entertainment that I experienced during this trip.

…and for the record, I was disappointed to find out that the sweeping stereotypes were wrong and not everyone spoke with the widely-fabled “BAWSTON” accent.

The Great Exploration

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The United States is a huge place and I haven’t seen enough of it since I’ve been in school all of my life. I live in a beautiful little town with a little over 10,000 people, but there is so much more out there in this world. That is why I am starting my newest endeavor:

My goal is to venture out of my small town in New Jersey and see the rest of the world, starting with the United States. As I travel, I will admire the scenery of the various states, collect and understand the habits and customs of non-jersey folks, pick up some friends on the way, and hopefully pick up some ideas for future endeavours. My ultimate goal in life is to build a conglomerate into an empire, in which I will preside as the King/Emperor and should bring me one step closer to my destiny.

My adventure has already begun, but there is so much more ground to cover…

You call that chicken?!

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Last night I went to the IZOD Center to see the Nets reduce the Hawks to utter ruin. Midway through the Hawks’ comedic performance on the court, my friend and I went to the food stand to find some nourishment; however, all I got instead was a tummy full of belches and “food” that was probably chemically charged.

I looked through the food options: hot dogs, shrimp and fries or “chicken” tenders and fries. My best option seemed to be the “chicken” tenders and fries so I put it on my tray, paid $85 to the cashier for the meal and headed back to my seat. I took my first bite into the “chicken” and realized that they forgot a key ingredient in the recipe–flavor! In order to remedy the situation I retrieved some sweet and sour sauce and dipped the second piece of the “chicken.” As soon as the “chicken” entered my body, I began to burp. Midway through my fourth consecutive burp, I took another bite and almost threw up in my mouth. I was DONE.

If you are ever faced with the opportunity to eat “chicken” tenders from a sports facility, please make sure to find out where the chicken came from. Come to think of it, I didn’t see the Nets’ mascot at all during the game–maybe he was the mystery meat!

PF Delicioso

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Today I went to PF Changs Restaurant with some friends for good food and good times.

Excuse me. That was the worst opening sentence that I’ve ever written. Let me try this again.

Today I went to PF Changs with my posse to obliterate some food, using only my teeth and my digestive system.

That was much better…

This was my first time going to this restaurant, but it was highly recommended by my sister, who is a food connoisseur (or maybe she’s just greedy—I’m not sure). I went a little overboard with my hunger and I ordered two mixed drinks and a large meal, but I paced myself and demolished the meal in a polite manner.

After conquering the main course we ordered dessert, which was served in a shot glass. My strawberry shortcake shot was approximately the size of seven quarters stacked on top of one another, but oh my was it GOOD! As soon as I started to really enjoy the dessert it was finished and the portion was too small to make its way down my esophagus; therefore, it was a 0 calorie meal. How’s that for diet food!!

All in all, the food was great, but I did NOT appreciate the weird chef staring at me through the kitchen window with a weird serial-killer look on his face. It made me very uncomfortable, to say the least, and I don’t even want to think about what he might’ve done to my food.

I Just Ate 可怕食物!!!!!

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This weekend my peoples and I went to a Chinese food market to purchase random foods for taste testing. This experiment was especially scary because none of the words on the foods’ packaging were in English. There were questionable foods which were brightly colored and vacuum packed with a smiling orange dragon on the packaging. The packages did not give any inkling of a hint about what the food might be and I was nervous.

We left the store with $70 worth of stuff and then we retreated back to the car to taste each food. Most of the foods were sweet and tasty, but there was one item that tasted like curdled soymilk and astroturf. This food had a marshmellowy look and a pretzely texture and, worst of all, when I chewed it it bit me back. I promptly spit this faux-dessert out of my mouth and moved onto the next item.

All-in-all everything tasted alright at best. It was a good experience that I will probably never do again, since I probably endangered my life by possibly eating Ancient Chinese Preserved Dragon.

Tooth-Trauma

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After many bad experiences with my last dentist I decided to take the plunge and switch dentists. This “event” occurred 2 weeks ago, but because of all of the trauma and distress that I experienced, I had to wait 2 weeks to calm my nerves to write about it.

I walked into the dentist and let them know that I was interested in becoming a patient and that I would need an appointment for a checkup and a cleaning. The secretary looked into her “BIG-BOOK-OF-APPOINTMENTS” and asked, “how’s two o’clock?” This thing was going way better than I thought!!! I was able to secure an appointment the same day.

Three hours later, I went back to the dentist for the appointment and the dentist’s assistant took me in the room to take x-rays. After the x-rays, she began to clean my teeth, but her method was a little bit unorthodox. Instead of using the sharp poking thing to clean each tooth, she ripped every single tooth out my mouth and cleaned it while she held it in her hand. Well, I’m not exactly sure what she did, because I was too busy bleeding to notice.

Just when I thought the painful experience was over, she took out a piece of floss.

………dramatic pause………

She passed the floss down one side of the tooth, then brought it up on the other side of the tooth. HOW WAS THAT POSSIBLE?!

Was it over?? Not at all—it was just beginning!

Now, this woman has caused severe emotional and physical damage to me by using a sharp poking thing and a piece of dental floss, so when she pulled out a drill, I feared for my life. She put a buffing bit at the tip of the drill to polish my teeth, but with every whirr of the drill, I felt more and more of my teeth’s enamel being scraped off.

When the appointment was over and I got out of the chair, all of my teeth fell out of my mouth onto the floor of the office. Instead of asking her to fix it for me, I just stuck them all into my pocket and glued them back in using crazy glue when I got home.

That’s EXACTLY how the appointment went!

A Peculiar guy named Geremy