A Peculiar guy named Geremy

CategoryGeneral

The NEVER ENDING VACATION

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When vacations are over, you are forced to let go of paradise and return to your usual mundane life filled with to-do lists, bills, and porridge. This is why I am piloting a new initiative called “the never-ending vacation.”

NEV: [nev] -noun
1. acronym for never ending vacation
2. a period lasting the duration of one year where one experiences a series of frequent releases from duty, business, or activity, usually lasting two to three days at a time in monthly intervals.
3. Geremy’s way of keeping sane in 2009.

My NEV will last for the entire year of 2009, during which I will be traveling around the continental United States and vacationing hard. The plan is to take one weekend-long trip each month and stay at the finest hotel that money can buy. Hopefully I can find a way to pawn the trip expenses off on a higher power, like my parents or Obama, but I haven’t figured that part out yet.

LET THE TRIPS BEGIN!!

Geremedia Business Cards

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I’m a unique fellow and everything that represents me must be unique also. This was the mindset that I had when creating my latest set of business cards.

Geremedia Business Cards

With the new Geremedia business cards I used a few more unique elements than before:

  • Color, glossy finish on both sides
  • Rounded corners
  • Black background with a color foreground
  • Vertical front/ horizontal back
  • Purple color strip on back

Geremedia Business Cards Geremedia Business Cards

Fortunately, now when people ask me for Geremedia contact information I will no longer be forced to write my email address on their arms with permanent marker. Now with the new SUPER-SHINY business cards in my possession, I can simply duct tape it to their arms instead.

*last name redacted from card image for no particular reason

Profit Opportunity: Esquire E-Ink Magazine

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Esquire Magazine - E-Ink

After reading about Esquire magazine’s special, limited release “E-Ink” magazine, I had to immediately purchase a copy for my collection. Is this because I’m a feeble minded consumer? Not in the least! This is because I’m a business-minded individual. Literally one minute after buying this magazine for $6, they were being sold on eBay for $12–a 100% price markup in 60 seconds (profit of 1 dime/second)

My Prediction:
1) Someone is going to figure out a way to hack the screen in the magazine for alternative uses
2) Demand for these magazines will quadruple
3) Demand will exceed supply and collectors and “hackers” will turn to places like eBay and Craigslist to purchase the magazine at a premium
4) I will be faced with the option of selling my magazine for an extremely high gross profit, or simply keep the flashy, distracting magazine on my bookshelf

…profit (or lose $6)

Esquire Magazine - E-Ink

My Undefeated Team!

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My soccer team has received their super-snazzy jerseys and will play their first game on Saturday. The best part is that the “GEREMEDIA TIGERZZ” is guaranteed to be undefeated because it’s a rule that every team must always win every time. This is great!!

Geremedia Soccer Team Geremedia Soccer Team

A Few of My Favorite Things

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I’m very loyal to the brands that I determine to be worthy of my love. Currently the brands on this list include Lexus, Apple, Nike, Palm, Canon, et al. Now I’m proud to announce that I have two additional brands to add to this list: Polycom and Pilot. These brands have maneuvered their way into my heart through their products, the SoundStation and the Precise V5, respectively.

Polycom Soundstation EX
Polycom Soundstation

When I was 10 years old my dad took me to his real estate lawyer’s office for a client’s house closing. I wandered around the place taking mental pictures with hopes of replicating everything in my own office one day. When I went into their conference room I laid my eyes on their conference telephone–the Polycom Soundstation. It seemed cool and futuristic to me and I wanted to use it, but my dad told me not to touch anything otherwise my fingers would fall off…and I needed those fingers.

Six years later my sister got a job in a lawyer’s office and she brought me along one day to help out with office tasks. Once again, I entered the office “bright eyed and bushy tailed” to get ideas for my own office. I entered the conference room where there was a huge table where the centerpiece was the Polycom Soundstation telephone. Again I was not allowed to play with it for fear of it breaking.

These two experiences caused me to equate successful businesses and high-powered executives with the Polycom Soundstation EX conference phone and I had to have one! After graduating from college, I set aside a portion of my first paycheck to purchase the phone and after setting up a dedicated phone number, I’ve been using the Polycom in my home office (which has recently been relocated to my bedroom) ever since. Hands down the best quality land-line telephone that I’ve ever used.

Pilot Precise V5

Pilot Precise V5
Very rarely does a pen combine a perfect weight with a perfect ink flow, and a perfect balance, and a perfect color hue, and a perfect barrel diameter, but somehow Pilot accomplished the incredible feat with this pen. I know I sound like the crazy cat-lady who lives in the attic of the old, dark house with weeds in the front lawn who obsesses over the most insignificant things, but I love this pen. It’s one of the few pens that is capable of keeping up with my thoughts, and I think pretty quickly!

I encourage you to try either of these two products or, at the bare minimum, create a “brand loyalty list” of your own to share with your friends…or thousands of internet strangers who read your online journal.

The New Look of Geremedia

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After working with a multitude of different designers and spending lots and lots of money, my company, Geremedia LLC, has just completed its rebranding from our old logo:

….to a new logo:

Geremedia Logo

Now I will be tackling “Phase II” of the project, which will include an entire corporate identity package with new letterheads, business cards, envelopes, t-shirts, CD’s, cars, plastic bags, trucks, legos–basically anything that is able to be branded.

Eat Fish, LIVE LONGER

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Some people eat fish because of the speculation that it increases vitality; other people eat fish because I force them to do it. On August 2nd I took my kiddies (the young adults who I teach in my “Joshua School of Business” program) on a scavenger hunt around New Jersey. This hunt involved things such as “stand in a public place for 2 minutes without moving” and “have a foot race with a stranger.” The tasks ranged from easy to mediocre, but the one task that had the most points was to swallow a live goldfish. With me as the team captain, we were highly success driven and we determined that the goldfish had to be consumed.

One of our team members walked into a Petco with a weird grin on his face and said to the store attendant, “I want to buy a fish. Which fish would be best….to eat?” After we were refused service we went to another store, purchased “Linus” and went into a parking lot to do the deed.

What happened next was beyond words. See for yourself…


The FISH from Geremy F on Vimeo.

Now I Root for My Team…literally

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A few weeks ago I was thinking about eccentric ways to invest money and somehow I stumbled on the idea of buying a ball team. After lots of research I decided that if I had to buy a team, I’d buy a team of the most popular sport in the world–soccer (futbol). Since you can’t walk into a shopping mall and purchase a team I had to search around for a different way to approach the situation.

While researching, my brother triumphantly marched into my room and announced “I’m going to be on the soccer team.” The exuberant glow from the 50,000 lumen light bulb in my head began to illuminate and that’s when it came to me–I’m going to buy my brother’s team! I made a few calls, filled out a few papers, mailed a check and VOILA, I have my own team!

Geremedia Team Jerseys

Geremedia, LLC is now the proud sponsor of one of the town’s junior soccer teams. More pictures to come when the season starts in September! My kiddies better be undefeated this season!!

My New Petit Castle

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After signing thirty trillion pieces of paper in my lawyer’s office on Thursday, I became the new owner of a two family house that’s coincidentally directly across the street from my childhood home. Strangely enough, a lot of my free childhood moments were spent by me wishing that I was the owner of that house because it was the nicest on the block. Also coincidentally, my dad owns the three multifamily houses directly across the street from mine. The ultimate goal is for me to own one side of the street and for my dad to own the other side then we will rename the street “Geremy Blvd” and I will rule as emperor, wearing a gold and blue crown.

Even though I own a home, I have no plans in the immediate future to move out of my parents’ house. I very much enjoy living in a one-family house where my job is within 3 minutes of my front door, my “corporate headquarters” is within 30 barefootsteps of my bedroom, a pool (with a large dirt trench around it) is in the backyard and living expenses are minimal. Besides, I spend very little time at home each day and it makes more sense, financially, for me to live at home. I don’t live with my parents, they’re my roommates and we’re just hangin out!

Although the house is nice and was remodeled in January ’07, I am a semi-perfectionist and need everything to be near-perfect prior to anyone moving in; therefore, I have the following updates planned for the next two weeks:

  • Repaint all apartments in Yolo Colorhouse color “Air 02” with white trim
  • Change all carpet throughout the house
  • Change all door locks throughout the house
  • Powerwash the front of the house
  • Change all mailboxes…I dislike ugly mailboxes
  • Change all lightbulbs…I love light!
  • Replace all of the huge steam-operated heaters to nice, neat, sleek electric baseboard heaters with new thermostats
  • Replace faucets in the kitchen
    Deadline: July 28th! – This should be a very interesting week!

My body is crying out for a rest, but my brain is saying “NO! WORK WORK WORK!!!”

A Peculiar guy named Geremy