Fuel in the Storm

I went to the gas station in the midst of “Blizzard ‘06” to get gas for our v8 engine powered snowblower, nicknamed “Clyde.” When I got to the station, I immediately noticed that the snow was unshoveled and untouched, signifying that no one had the courage to attempt to drive through the 20+ inches of snow. Since I am used to setting new paths (both literally and figuratively) I drove up to the pump and got out to look for the gas station attendant.

Here in New Jersey, there is a law which states that drivers cannot pump their own gas, so I didn’t want to start pumping without the attendant. I checked inside, outside, and under mounds of snow but the attendant was nowhere to be seen. Just as I was ready to try another station, I spotted his yellow and brown eyes looking back at me from ground level. The attendant was hiding behind the counter hoping that I wouldn’t notice him. When I asked for gas, he handed me his access card and told me to pump it myself, as he sat back in his warm Bill Cosby-like sweater.

I went to the pump, took it off the hook-thing, stuck it in the bottle, and pulled the trigger-thing, but nothing happened. The more I fiddled, the more my hands froze. When the attendant saw that I was having problems, he started yelling random commands through the door. “CLICK IT!!” “WIND IT UP!” “SHUT EM DOWN!”

What are you saying?!

The gas finally started flowing and every part of my hands froze in a weird cause-and-effect manner. When it came time to pay, The Lazy Attendant didn’t show any remorse for allowing me to break the law and forced me to pay quickly. I fetched nine dollars from my pocket (which was very hard since my fingers were like frozen hotdogs) and searched for a penny to make up the balance of $9.01. Just then, gas-man said “keep penny,” which was probably his way of rewarding me for a job well done. An entire penny just for myself. Now I can afford to buy 1/5 of an individually wrapped swedish fish.

So I did it. I pumped gas in the midst of a blizzard and didn’t get arrested. Although I got frostbitten hands in the process, I’m thankful that I didn’t have to spend the day in a jail cell with all of the murderers, child-molesters and gas-pumpers.