Geremy’s Living Will

With the whole Schiavo drama going on, a lot of people are urging others to create a “living will” and distribute it to their families. Well, I’ll take it one step further—I’m not only letting my family know, but I’m also letting the entire internet know.

In the event that my invincibile/immortal abilities fade and I’m on a hospital bed losing life rapidly, LEAVE THE FEEDING TUBE IN ME.

Let me make this absolutely clear. If the feeding tube isn’t available, you may:

  • take out the battery from the car and connect it to my brain
  • plug me into the wall
  • hook me up to a power generator
  • put thousands of rats on treadmills and connect the treadmills to my body
  • rip a hole in my chest and shove the food in there
  • pour the IV fluid down my throat
  • hire some hackers and make them hack my brain into working condition
  • hook me up to 2 solar panels, placed on the roof of the hospital
  • I don’t care what you have to do, just keep me alive. I won’t go without a fight.