How’s Your Foot?!

By far, the most common question that I receive from those who are familiar with my lawnmower incident is: “how’s your foot doing?!” Therefore, I’ve decided to publicly answer the question for everyone else who might be wondering:

My foot is fine. In fact, it’s far better than fine!!

Since amputating 1/4 of my toe, my weight has slightly decreased by a few ounces without going on any extreme diets. My right shoe fits slightly better without that pesky, long middle toe in the way. I have one less toenail to clip, which has saved me approximately 20 seconds each time I clip my toenails. I can run slightly faster than before. Finally, I don’t have any residual pain as a result of the toe injury (including mental pain, now that I’ve fully paid off the $20,000 bill from the surgery).

If my right foot was a business on Yelp, I’d write the following review:

[note]FIVE STARS!!!

I’m rarely wrong when it comes to things, but in this case I was. I expected to have a negative experience that would trigger painful flashbacks for the rest of my life, but I couldn’t be wronger. As a result of this experience, I feel like Iron Man. One minor lawnmower mishap birthed a host of benefits that I will enjoy forever. My cholesterol levels have decreased, I can now type 120 words per minute, and best of all, I can walk on water…only with my right foot…for a fraction of a second.  Thank you!![/note]