Kid tested, Geremy approved

My goal for this upcoming school year, which starts on September 7, is to get a 4.0 gpa (which shouldn’t be tough since I’m a genius). In order to achieve this goal, I had to look back at what prevented me from getting a 4.0 gpa in the past. After days of intense research, I’ve discovered that the only thing that caused me to fall short was stress. I researched deeper and ran several N.S.T.A.A.N.T.* tests to identify what was causing the stress, and all signs pointed to my shoulders.

Old Bookbag
Since starting to attend college in September of 2003, I’ve had the same $2 Old Navy bag….literally, it was $2 and on the sale rack. The bag is barely big enough for 3 college textbooks. Imagine my struggle with trying to stuff 4 classes worth of textbooks and their accompanying notebooks into my bag, along with my laptop, PDA, folders, utensils, binder, and other minor things. It was tough.

Old Bookbag pocket
As if this nightmare wasn’t bad enough, the bag had almost no padding in the shoulder straps. The Old Navy bookbag manufacturing plant must’ve had 1 spool of cotton to share among the 2 million bookbags, which meant 1 cubic inch of padding per bag. When I had to walk from one end of the campus to the next, the straps would saw into my shoulders like two razor-sharp daggers attached to a three ton bag of rocks. I endured it all for 2 years without ever complaining…until now, of course.

Inside Old Bookbag
I blame the bag for my mediocre academic career because I believe that it has caused me to be a slacker. I hated carrying the load while walking (and sometimes running) to class, so I started to leave my books either at home or in my car. I was essentially wasting my $30,000+/year college education, but if that meant preserving the skin and bones in and around my shoulder, then that was the price that I was willing to pay (on behalf of my parents).

NEW bookbag
After two painful years, I learned my lesson the hard way and decided that the key to a perfect academic record is a good bookbag. Yesterday, I set out with my little brother in search of the perfect bookbag. Money wasn’t an issue (as long as it was under 30g’s) so any bookbag was a viable option. We went to about 8 different stores, then we came up on my newest gem—my “Samsonite Ice” bookbag. It was big enough, had adequate padding, and my brother approved of it (after packing it with stuff and walking around the store), so I bought it. No more $2 Old Navy short person backpack!

Pocket of NEW bookbag

Now I’ve accomplished two feats: 1) I’ve finally found the perfect bookbag that holds the key to my perfect academic career, and 2) I’ve published the longest backpack related entry that I’ve ever seen online.

N.S.T.A.A.N.T.= No Such Thing As A Nstaant Test