A Peculiar guy named Geremy

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My Fight to Write Right

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Along with millions of my other minions around the dominion, I started school on Wednesday as a junior in college. However, my transition from “summertime” to “school time” was not as smooth as I hoped it would’ve been.

I had my clothes ready, my shoes and socks laid out, my bag packed, but I forgot to prepare my mind for what was ahead of me. I went to school at 8:30, had a seat, and took a notebook out of my bag. The instructor said something important so I proceeded to write it down into my fresh Mead 1 subject notebook, but my handwriting looked like…excuse my French…crap.

You see, the most that I’ve had to write in my four months of summer has been the information on the deposit slip for my bank. Since I had to take pages and pages of notes, my hand sorta spazzed out and scribbling came out because it was entering into unfamiliar territory. Luckily it didn’t take long for me to adjust and I was back to writing my notes neatly in cursive in minutes.

Sidenote: In school, I am taking as many classes as I am allowed to take, and when you couple this with my goal of achieving a 4.0 GPA this semester, I foresee A LOT of work ahead. Why am I mentioning this? I hate to break it to ya, but there probably won’t be as many updates here from now until December 18. That’s the price that WE have to pay for me to get what I want. I love our give/take relationship.

Recipe for Disaster

R

Ingredients – (1) Pool – (2) Packages of powder shock (a type of purifying chemical) – (1) Solar pool cover

Instructions

  1. Pour 2 packages of powder shock into the pool water
  2. Turn off the pool’s pump & filter
  3. Cover pool with solar cover
  4. Leave on a 9 day roadtrip

Upon re-arrival, the pool’s water will be a radioactive, halogen, highlighter green color.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the recipe to ruin a pool. Thankfully, after 2 weeks of chemical pampering, we finally have a clean pool again. Lesson learned.

SHE’S TWO!

S

Today marks the 2nd year since Geremology.com has been overhauled. Only 14 more years until it gets its own episode of “My Super Sweet Sixteen” on MTV. Happy Birthday, Geremology.com.

The festivities will take place in the near future. Look out for the party invitations.

Kid tested, Geremy approved

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My goal for this upcoming school year, which starts on September 7, is to get a 4.0 gpa (which shouldn’t be tough since I’m a genius). In order to achieve this goal, I had to look back at what prevented me from getting a 4.0 gpa in the past. After days of intense research, I’ve discovered that the only thing that caused me to fall short was stress. I researched deeper and ran several N.S.T.A.A.N.T.* tests to identify what was causing the stress, and all signs pointed to my shoulders.

Old Bookbag
Since starting to attend college in September of 2003, I’ve had the same $2 Old Navy bag….literally, it was $2 and on the sale rack. The bag is barely big enough for 3 college textbooks. Imagine my struggle with trying to stuff 4 classes worth of textbooks and their accompanying notebooks into my bag, along with my laptop, PDA, folders, utensils, binder, and other minor things. It was tough.

Old Bookbag pocket
As if this nightmare wasn’t bad enough, the bag had almost no padding in the shoulder straps. The Old Navy bookbag manufacturing plant must’ve had 1 spool of cotton to share among the 2 million bookbags, which meant 1 cubic inch of padding per bag. When I had to walk from one end of the campus to the next, the straps would saw into my shoulders like two razor-sharp daggers attached to a three ton bag of rocks. I endured it all for 2 years without ever complaining…until now, of course.

Inside Old Bookbag
I blame the bag for my mediocre academic career because I believe that it has caused me to be a slacker. I hated carrying the load while walking (and sometimes running) to class, so I started to leave my books either at home or in my car. I was essentially wasting my $30,000+/year college education, but if that meant preserving the skin and bones in and around my shoulder, then that was the price that I was willing to pay (on behalf of my parents).

NEW bookbag
After two painful years, I learned my lesson the hard way and decided that the key to a perfect academic record is a good bookbag. Yesterday, I set out with my little brother in search of the perfect bookbag. Money wasn’t an issue (as long as it was under 30g’s) so any bookbag was a viable option. We went to about 8 different stores, then we came up on my newest gem—my “Samsonite Ice” bookbag. It was big enough, had adequate padding, and my brother approved of it (after packing it with stuff and walking around the store), so I bought it. No more $2 Old Navy short person backpack!

Pocket of NEW bookbag

Now I’ve accomplished two feats: 1) I’ve finally found the perfect bookbag that holds the key to my perfect academic career, and 2) I’ve published the longest backpack related entry that I’ve ever seen online.

N.S.T.A.A.N.T.= No Such Thing As A Nstaant Test

Road Trip Day # 3

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Current Location: Conyers, GA
States Covered: GA
Brief Summary: My name is Geremy and I am irresponsible. We had a good night and morning on Sullivan’s Island and when the time came for us to leave my dad had one request: “Let me see the Google Earth program.” I took out my laptop and let him use it, but I neglected to put it back into my bag when he was finished. For that reason, my laptop is stranded on Sullivan’s island and I cannot load my digital camera’s pictures on it.

The worst part of the situation is that the itinerary for the trip is saved on Microsoft Word on the computer and I don’t have a printout of it.

We made it to Conyers, GA without incident and spent the night there, but now what? I can’t launch Google Earth to see our next potential destination, I can’t call our next hotel to find out if there are any vacancies, I can’t find any sites in the area, I CAN’T DO ANYTHING.

So here I am, typing an entry with the miniscule keys of the T-Mobile Sidekick. Hopefully my digital camera’s memory card won’t fill up. Hopefully we will get to where we have to be. Hopefully I will get my laptop back.

Keep my laptop in your prayers.
(So much for the “brief” summary)

Road Trip Day # 2

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nothamap

Current Location: Sullivan’s Island in SC
States Covered: NC, SC
Brief Summary: We spent the entire day driving from Virginia to North Carolina, where we stopped to visit some people, then to South Carolina, where there are many LONG deserted roads. Right now we are on “Sullivan’s Island” in a residential vacationing home, where I am stealing a wireless connection from the next door neighbors.

Pictures:

Poverty House

Driving on the Sidewalk

Running Backwards

Delivery Man

Fender Bender

Fenderbender

Jaws

Planet Hollywood

Random Van

Bee

Beginning of the Family Roadtrip

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In about 2 hours I will be leaving on a 9 day road trip with my family. I am pretty clueless about the entire situation so I can’t give any details right now, but all I know is that we’re starting in NJ and ending in FL.

I’ll have my sidekick 2 with me, so stay tuned for pictures of things that I encounter on the way. As long as my sidekick has service and/or my laptop can find a wireless signal, I will be updating this site.

LET THE TRIP BEGIN!

‘05 Upstate Retreat- Days 2-5

Now that I think about last week, there is nothing worth mentioning, so I will summarize the week with a few succinct statements.

– I spent most of the week reading my newest book, “Copy This” – On my birthday my sister made me drive 5 miles away to buy pizza for her friends with my own money – My birthday wasn’t anything special… at all. – On my birthday I got 5 gifts—two identical refrigerator magnets, a can of peanuts, a fitted hat, and money – I got over 20 mosquito bites and they HURT. – I let 5 teenage boys stay in my room on the last day and I had to beat 3 of them with a belt because 1 kid wouldn’t stop saying, “I WANT MOMMY’S MILK” and the other 2 kids wouldn’t stop talking.

Here are some random photos from the week:

Geremy

Campbell Farm

Bridge

Hay Wheels

Messed up Mailbox

Baby Crying

Flashback to 1993

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Flashback to 1993:
My family moved from Paterson to Orange because my dad got a new job. I thought that we were rich because we owned a custom van and my sister and I had a bunk bed, but we were still poor. Moving meant different school district, and different school district meant new teacher, and new teacher meant Ms. Davis, and Ms. Davis meant pain.

Miss Davis completely disregarded the teacher’s handbook and she acted more like a mom, rather than a teacher. Miss Davis always spanked me with a meter stick all the time, not because I was a troublemaker, but because (as she announced in front of the class) she “didn’t want me to turn out like the other bad kids in the class.” I never understood that logic, but I took every lash like Kunta Kint…..ummm….I mean Toby.

One day Miss Davis was teaching the class Math, but instead of paying attention, I imagined that my chair was a spaceship. After a while, my imagination got out of control and I was making loud sound effects while shaking my chair.

“Stop it, Geremy!”
“Okay.”

Minutes later, the spaceship was back in commission and the sound effects resumed.

“Stop it, Geremy!”
“Okay.”

Minutes later…blast off time. I gave the countdown, then I blasted off, which resulted in me tipping over my chair and landing on the ground.

Miss Davis appeared out of nowhere and she roughly pulled me into the hallway, gripping me like her hand was a vice grip. She spanked me around 20 times and the pain hurt so bad that my butt went numb. I was near tears when I re-entered the room, but no one said a word because they didn’t want to experience the signature Davis Spanking®.

To this day I am scared to imitate a spaceship because I fear the wrath of Davis coming upon me again.

A Peculiar guy named Geremy