I’m Retiring…

When I was in high school, all of the most exciting things would happen on Friday nights: the best parties, the biggest sports games, and the legendary night when everyone went to Alex’s house to swallow live goldfish.  Was I present for these things? No, because youth group was on Friday nights and my parents had a strict “no skipping youth group” policy. But even though my attendance at youth group was consistent, the teachers weren’t.

Imagine missing out on the most exciting times of your teenage life to go to a youth group where the teacher rarely bothered to show up.  As time progressed, inconsistency became the norm, leaving me and the other 13 to 21 year-olds to sit in a room alone.  So at the age of 17, I decided to appoint myself the new youth group teacher.

I had no business leading this group since a lot of the youth were older than I was and my teaching tactics were a bit unorthodox. Somehow, everyone listened to me because they trusted me and I consistently showed up every Friday.  Thinking back, I’m surprised that the parents trusted me to lead their children since I was a child too. 

Two months into this teaching gig, I thought it would be funny to ask the parents’ permission to duct tape their children and they all said yes.  So for every kid who wanted to participate, I paid them $2 to duct tape their mouths and an additional $2 to duct tape their hands. So for fifteen minutes or so, there were about 10 kids silently walking around, bound by duct tape.  After I removed the tape from the first kid’s mouth, his first words were, “can you pay me $2 to put me in the basketball hoop?”  So I handed him $2 and [safely] threw him into the basketball hoop.  But somewhere between duct taping kids and tossing them into basketball hoops, something changed.

I learned that kids don’t care what you know until they know that you care, so I had to take my role seriously to show them that I was invested in them.  I focused on becoming the teacher that I always wanted but never had.

Whatever positive things they wanted to pursue, I supported. When they wanted to become rappers, I took poetry, music history, and audio production classes to help them make songs like this one:

When they wanted to get their license, I taught them how to drive in my car.  When they wanted to start businesses, I taught them everything I learned from starting a business and getting a business degree.  I helped with college applications, I got them scholarships, I drove them to prom, I was their videographer at their Sweet 16’s, I helped them save money—I did everything I could do to add value to them.

I also wanted them to enjoy life through unique experiences.  I took them on Segway rides, to concerts, open-mic nights, amusement parks, plays, college tours, bowling, movies, go kart racing, and I even chartered a private jet to fly them to Washington, DC.

I also created unique experiences for them to learn, including the five-dollar challenge so they could learn business skills, a Christmas show so they could display their creative talents, Friendsgivings for them and their friends, and an annual Christmas party to give them gifts. We even worked together to renovate our meeting room into a space that is more comfortable and age appropriate.

I called them “my kiddies” because they felt like my own kids and sometimes they cost just as much.  I helped them get their first cars, gave them their first laptops and MacBooks, bought them iPads, gave them iPhones, and gave them money to reward academic accomplishments. These things were never meant to spoil them—I just wanted them to feel supported, recognized, and appreciated.

The feelings were also reciprocated because they treated me with respect and appreciation.  They included me on their major life milestones, invited me to award ceremonies and graduations, and checked up on me when I seemed like I wasn’t at 100%. 

They gave me things that were special to them, like their first debit card, souvenirs from trips that they took, stuffed animals that they were sentimental about, and hand made items that they created. In fact, I’ve got many things that they’ve given me throughout the years in display cases in my living room, but one thing that isn’t on display is the living, breathing animal that they got me as a gift.

They taught me just as much as I taught them.

Here’s a video my sister got Andy Mineo (creator of the song, “Coming In Hot”) to record for me that summarizes the experience leading youth pretty well.

After a phenomenal 22 years of being the youth director, I am officially retiring in December.  I’ve taught hundreds of kids, delivered thousands of lessons, helped put many kids through college, mentored multiple generations of young adults, and consistently showed up every single Friday night for decades, but now it’s time to close this chapter. 

I’ve loved every single moment of the experience and will forever be heavily invested into the success of every young adult I’ve taught, but it’s time to pass the torch onto the next leader who can elevate things even more from here. So on 12/31/2025, I will finally lift the “no skipping youth group” policy. 

Teaching these stellar kids has been one of my greatest accomplishments and honors in life!

Any fun Friday night goldfish-swallowing parties going on??