Chronicles of a Computer Technician

On Wednesday, I had my first two service calls under my new contract, and my third service call was on Friday.

First customer: A Jamaican woman who spoke very loudly. When I rang the bell, she opened her door and looked at me with a furious look on her face and said “YES?!?” After I told her who I was, her facial expression changed completely and she yelled “COME IN!” Her house was about 4 degrees over boiling point and I immediately began to sweat. While I changed the defective memory module, she sat on her couch while telling someone on the phone about my every move. “Okay, now he’s opening the computer….Now he’s unscrewing something….etc” HOW ANNOYING! I finished the repair as quickly as possible because: 1) my shirt was literally on fire and I had to use my sweat put out the flames, and 2) Her devious stare suggested that she was undressing me with her eyes. I finished everything up within 15 minutes and I left there to go to my second service call

Second customer: Lives in terrible part of the ghetto, where even the 4 year olds packed guns. I walked into her house and she introduced me to her blind 17 year old dog and told me that he wouldn’t bite me because he can’t see me. I followed her upstairs and the dog followed me….but failed. He would walk up 5 stairs, then slide down the steps, then try again and bump into the wall and slide down again. It was a sad sight to see, yet very entertaining. I started to open her computer, but then realized that HQ sent me the wrong part, so I called it in, packed up my stuff, said bye to the blind dog and left the house.

As I was walking to my car, which was 1/2 the way down the street, I saw a guy walk up to my car, look inside, pull out a screwdriver and then proceeded to try to steal it. I quickly pressed the “panic” button, which scared him, and he ran away. It would’ve been very interesting if he actually stole my car and I had to walk 30 miles to get home.

Third customer: Party girl. I walked into her room and she had many, many, many guys passed out in her apartment. All I asked was, “Wild party last night, huh” and she replied “yup!”

Stay tuned for more chronicles of a computer technician.
(Fox should make this into a reality show!)