The swimming …thing

I was changing into my swimming britches when my sister called out, “there is something swimming in the pool!” I jumped up and ran outside, prepared to slay the moose that invaded my H2O, but instead I saw a helpless beaver/squirrel/rat hybrid mix that was trying his best to keep his nose above water…or was he??

My first instinct was to run inside and get my camera to take pictures of the creature as it did the “squirrelly-paddle,” but I didn’t want it to get sucked into the skimmer and shredded by the pool’s pump and filter. I’m also guessing that the beaver’s/rat’s intestines doesn’t do much for the purity of the water. I stood there, thinking about my next move when a voice yelled “KILL IT!!” That voice was my sister, who was watching the event unfold from the safety of the dining room. I chose to ignore that voice.

I took a long pole and stuck it in the water so the….thing could have something to hold onto, but he didn’t use my help. He swam around the pole and smashed himself head-first into the tiled wall. Again, I stuck the pole into the water and scooped the…thing up. I placed him in the grass, expecting him to run away and tell his friends about his near-death experience, but he was stubborn.

The rat stood up, watched me for about 10 seconds, then slowly walked in the direction of the pool. He jumped onto the concrete platform surrounding the pool and looked at the clean water that flowed past him. Seconds later, in a move of utter stupidity he swan-dived back into the water and paddled his legs like a 13th century speedboat.

I couldn’t have a rodent skinny-dipping in my pool, so I tried to quickly scoop the…thing and throw it across the fence in one swift move. Just as it was time for the…thing to fly out across the fence, he held onto the pole, which caused him to fall onto the ground with a dumbfounded look on his ratty-face. He laid still on his back for about 10 seconds, which made me believe that he was [finally] dead, but as soon as I went in to get a closer look, he hopped on his wet feet and ran away.

I’m mad that a naked beaver/squirrel/rat hybrid mix was the first to christen my pool for the summer, but more importantly, what’s with all of these suicidal rodent experiences?!