There are killers next door! Man down!!

On Saturday I was shot by a friend, multiple times. Now, I can’t say that I didn’t deserve it, but up until this point I believed that I was invincible. I was staring down the barrel of his gun and never believed that he would pull the trigger because I’m a pretty nice guy, but I was wrong. There was a *POP!* and seconds later I had a stinging/burning sensation in my hand. I looked at my situation and noticed that I was wounded and I was dripping…with paint!

The HUGE Paintballing Problem

I went paintballing with nine friends in a private field to release any pent up aggression out on each other. Upon arrival at the paintball field, we made a stunning and alarming discovery–we were directly next door to a correctional facility where the inmates were all-too familiar with shooting guns, except theirs didn’t shoot paint. This created an additional lever fear in some people and each time they got shot, they immediately had to check to see if it was with a paintball or a bullet. Personally, I was a man about it and was ready to attack like a soldier at war…that was until I got shot by a mystery man.

Our game wasn’t yet in-progress and I heard a flurry of gunshots, followed by two stings in my arm. I quickly checked around me to identify the recipient of my next lashing but I didn’t find anyone. Then I heard another shot followed by another sting. Who’s shooting me?! Was it one of our new inmate neighbors?! Another search revealed my attacker, a random 6 or 7 year old boy standing about 500 feet away with a gun that strongly resembled a sniper rifle. I considered shooting the kid back in areas that would hurt him for days, but after I realized that my aim wasn’t nearly as impeccable as his appeared to be, I ceded in our one-sided battle.

After playing about 8 games, I grew tired of people using my bald head as a target and I wanted everyone to stand unarmed in the open so I could get my revenge. By the end of the day we hopped our aching bodies into our cars, with our outfits looking like we all got into a fight with a bucket of semigloss latex paint.