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On This Day

Coldest Season of the Year: Tax Season

Let’s start by breathing a sigh of relief for Geremy—“PHEW!!!”

Today is April 16th–the day that follows the dreaded “Tax Deadline Day” in the United States. While many people across the country are freaking out, I’m breathing a sigh of relief thanks to my new expert team of Certified Public Accountants!

My Grand Plan

At the beginning of 2008 I came up with a complex business model for my life, which arranged everything into “profit centers.” This led to me starting companies, opening bank accounts that automagically organized my money, and other elaborate business mumbo-jumbo that only makes sense in my wandering mind. Everything was all “butterflies and rainbows” until tax time came and I had a tough time arranging my finances.

I enlisted the help of a highly recommended accounting firm to produce a report on my finances that would be acceptable in the sights of Mr. US Government. Three months later (and two days shy of the US deadline), I have my finalized tax return containing a record of all business income and expenses for the year. Now I can finally rest assured, knowing that the US Government won’t be threatening to break my legs and shouting expletives at my family, like the A word (audit) and the F word (fine).

As the Russians say, “Было деньги расходуются по назначению. Благодаря Мать Россия!!”

Translation: That was money well spent…thanks mother Russia!

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