Condo Craving

Last weekend I had a terrible, terrible craving for a condo and I needed to satisfy it immediately. When I called my friend to discuss this unique, new “condo craving,” it turned out that she was experiencing the same thing. In order to cure this desire, we quickly formulated a list of condo requirements to direct our search. Our requirements were simple:

  • Between $800,000 and $4 gillion
  • Within 100 footsteps of a major body of water
  • Amazing
  • Mind blowing

We quickly selected a three condos that satisfied our requirements and made appointments to see them.

The first two condos were in the sub-million dollar range but didn’t have much to offer, other than a tremendous skyline view. The master bedroom was hardly fit for a “master,” the regular bedrooms were the size of closets, and the bathrooms were basically tiny hallways with a mini toilet at the end. Geremy was underwhelmed.

The last condo was the overly hyped Trump Plaza in New Jersey. Upon visiting the building we were seated in a waiting area that had nice, furry floors–THE FLOORS WERE GROWING HAIR…and I liked it. Then we were ushered up to the “amenities floor” where you can do everything from sit in a spa all day to play virtual golf…and I liked it. Then we toured a typical apartment, which was “alright” at best, but had a view that pleasantly surprised my irises. That’s when I decided that if I had to purchase a sub-million dollar condo, the Trump Plaza would be my home. Unfortunately, that is not currently the case.

After opening my eyes to such amazing condos, I have resolved to purchase a place of my own within the next 10 years. I plan on approaching the seller with a large suitcase containing one million dollars…in quarters.

Trump Bathroom