Flashback to 1991

I was in first grade in PS 10 of Paterson, NJ and I was pretty much the smartest kid in the class. I got straight A’s, and I was doing Math at a fourth grade level (thanks mom). My teacher made the Principal get me a Math specialist to come in every Wednesday to teach me advanced math…me and only me. Whenever I got A’s on the tests, she would give me rewards—usually something she created and designed.

One day, she gave me an envelope with a fancy star design on the front. Instead of throwing it away like the other things she gave me, I drew a little picture and put it in the envelope to give to the girl I liked…my way of flirting when I was 6. I told the kid next to me to give the note to the girl, but instead he gave the note to Pedro, the class bully.

Pedro was the only kid in the class who hated me, simply because he was intellectually impaired and I wasn’t. Pedro dressed in black sneakers, corduroys, and a “Viva Las Vegas” t-shirt everyday. I think that Pedro also had a moustache, but I’m not sure.

Pedro got the letter and figured that I wanted to be his friend, so he responded.

Dear Geremy,
I love you. If anybody mess with you, I’ll (expletive deleted) them up


After that, I instantly became popular because Pedro passed me off as his homeboy, and everyone was scared to mess with me for fear of answering to Pedro.

I’m kind of happy that Pedro got the letter instead of the girl, but I can’t help but imagine what would have happened if that girl actually got my letter. Maybe there would’ve been a Mrs. Geremology right now.