Forget Acorns, We’ll take the Fries!

The Fry Stealer

There’s a burger joint called “Five Guys” that serves some absolutely delicious, caloriffic burgers and fries. When you chew each bite of your meal you can hear your arteries harden and your tummy widen, but the taste is so good that it’s worth it.

Two weeks ago I went to Five guys with my cousin and ordered my usual burger with a side of fries, then we went to a nearby park to eat. While eating the fries we were approached by a friendly squirrel who stood a few feet away, watching us eat our meals. Seconds after approaching, the squirrel quickly grabbed a fry that fell from my bag and he retreated to his tree to munch on the oily potato strip.
Not long after, the brave squirrel returned and waited for another french fry to be released.

I’m not the type of person to deny anyone of a tasty treat, so I grabbed the longest french fry from my bag and hand-fed it to the squirrel. Soon he returned with 2 of his friends who also wanted a soggy fry of their own. After giving a fry to each of his friends, I tried to peacefully enjoy my meal, but I was interrupted by the sound of two fighting critters trading punches over a french fry. I broke up the fight by giving a fry to each squirrel and peacefully returned to my seat to enjoy my meal. When I looked to my right, there were two more squirrels waiting for the human fry dispenser to give them more potato treats. By this point, all of the fries were gone and they had to return to the dry, hard, boring, acorns.

I expect to be greeted by six highly-overweight squirrels when I return to the park in the near future. Let’s just hope that their tiny rodent hearts can fully digest the peanut-oil soaked fries.

Here is some footage taken at the scene: