My mattress of 8 years turned into my enemy when its springs poked through the cushion and stabbed me in my back each night. Morning after morning I’d wake up feeling like I got into an eight-hour knife fight with the Latin Kings, which would result in my back resembling Kunta Kinte’s in the movie “Roots.” I figured that a new mattress was far cheaper than the impending medical bills, so I borrowed an SUV and took a trip to Ikea.

When I entered Ikea’s mattress section, I quickly realized that I stepped into an unfamiliar territory. I’d never purchased a mattress before in my life and I wasn’t sure how to approach the purchasing process. Should I act like I was buying a used car and test drive every single one? Should I test its resilience and jump on it like a trampoline??

I couldn’t wrap my head around the different mattress options that were available to me. I had the option of firm, extra firm, soft, foam, memory foam, pillow-top, latex, coil, active response coil, spring, mattress pad, etc, etc, etc. I thought that there were only three types of mattresses: good, bad and alright. I stood in front of each mattress reading every single specification and trying to remember key details, as if my entrance into heaven depended on me remembering that the Sultan Hogla mattress was an active-response coil mattress that was filled with 100% polyurethane foam with 40% lyocell ticking.

One hour passed and I wasn’t any closer to reaching a decision. At this point, I was laying on a mattress, attempting to take a three minute nap so I could rate my sleeping experience. Somehow I couldn’t fall asleep with all of the people walking by and staring at me. Eventually I decided to choose a mattress at random, nullifying the mental pros and cons list for each mattress that I spent an hour developing.

When I got home, I threw the backstabbing mattress out of the house and I set up my new loving mattress in its place. When it came time for me to go to sleep, I realized that the mattress was utterly perfect. It didn’t make any noise when I moved, it didn’t tickle my spine with its sharp springs, and best of all it felt like I was sleeping on an ultra-comfortable cumulonimbus cloud! With the entrance of this new gem in my life, I can finally appreciate the importance of a nonviolent mattress and I like it!