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On This Day

In-Depth Look at Resolutions

The year of our lord, Two Thousand and Five, has come to an end and 2006 has begun. Just like everyone else, I intend on making “New Years Resolutions,” but it’s time to change things up. As a management major, I’ve learned that you must identify and correct the problems of a system in order to make it run efficiently, so I have assigned myself to identify and correct the problems with new years resolutions before I create resolutions of my own.

Earlier this week, I summoned my research team and after long hours of intense research, we’ve come up with two problems with the system, and two solutions to cure it.

Problem # 1: One year, twelve months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8760 hrs, 525600 minutes, 31536000 seconds is simply too much time. By nature, humans are easily sidetracked, and if you have the dreaded ailment called “procrastination” you’re even worse off. But don’t worry, let Dr. Geremy prescribe some prescription advice for you.
Solution # 1: Divide the year into segments. Whether it is 2 halves, 4 quarters, or 12 months, a smaller time period will help you to stay focused on your goal while forming new and better ones frequently.

Problem # 2: Unrealistic goals. Let’s face the facts, if you were 75lbs at birth, 175lbs in fourth grade, and 465lbs now, you’re probably not going to be able to drop 300 lbs in 12 months. If you are currently unemployed, and have been for the last 12 years with 1.2 million dollars in debt, you’re probably not going to be debt-free by the end of the year. If you are blind, have no arms, infected with tourettes-syndrome, and had your womb surgically removed when you were 12, you’re probably not going to have a child in the next few months…although, if you were blind, you wouldn’t have been able to navigate your way to this site, so I won’t worry.
Solution # 2: Set more realistic goals for yourself. Think about the feasibility of you completing the goal in the time period that you set. If it is utterly impossible for any human on the face of the earth (except me…I’m amazing) to complete it, find something smaller that you can accomplish.

With these things in mind, my new years quarterly resolution is simple:
1) Become President of the United States by June.

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