On July 14th I thought that I was craving a steak, but it turns out that I was craving a guinea pig…not to eat, but to welcome into my home as a new family member. Throughout the years, my family has had a collection of guinea pigs. Wait, is it weird to refer to them as “a collection?” Well, let’s just go with it…
First we had Groffy the Guinea Pig, then we had the unnamed guinea pig, then Tommy, then Sylvester. Unfortunately, most guinea pigs have a life expectancy of 4-8 years so now all of the pigs have relocated to heaven.
Two weeks ago, I filled the guinea pig void in my life and brought home the tiniest little guinea pig that I’ve ever seen. For the first week, she stared at me and didn’t make a sound so I thought that she was a mute. But then I placed a new type of food in the dining room section of her cage and she hopped into the food bowl and SCREAMED with JOY. That’s when I realized that she shared the same passion for food as me. Like father, like daughter!
I built her a cardboard sleeping cave, bought her a home that’s basically a mansion for guinea pigs, and got her the best of everything. Then I made her a logo because every child of mine must also have a logo. Then I taught her tricks like how to play fetch and how to organize my tax deductible receipts. She’s mediocre at fetch and terrible at organizing receipts since she always eats the paper. Weird.
Of all the guinea pigs that I’ve ever owned, she’s the weirdest because she does some odd things. For instance, she keeps her cage in immaculate condition by eating any stray food that made its way into the bedding—this is the guinea pig equivalent of vacuuming . Also, she designated her plastic igloo house as her bathroom where she goes to…um…handle her business. Also, she uses her nose to redistribute the cage bedding in a neat even pattern so it doesn’t have any “bald spots” along the cage floor. She is the lowest maintenance pet/friend/thing that I’ve ever encountered and this is the beginning of a wonderful journey!
I would like to formally introduce to the world, “Society” (formerly known as Louise), my new guinea pig!!